


Agape

by TakaneNoHana



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Abusive Father, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, Depression, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hiiragi & Shizu if you squint, Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Child Abuse, Prequel, Romance, Soulmates, Trauma, nonAU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 11:46:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20209210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakaneNoHana/pseuds/TakaneNoHana
Summary: “Would you die for me then?”Yuki, Mafuyu, Hiiragi and Shizusumi have been friends since they were little. One day though, Yuki realizes that his feelings for Mafuyu are probably a lot more than a simple friendship.- AGivenprequel fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Agape: (n.) the highest form of love. Selfless, sacrificial and unconditional love; persists no matter the circumstances.

_Tik tok,  
Tik tok._

The clock was ticking almost too slowly in the quiet classroom, and Yuki could hear it resonating loudly in his ears. The teacher’s voice was nothing more than a background buzz. 

That day he couldn’t focus at all, probably because he had never been more aware of the way Mafuyu’s closeness was making him feel. 

If he were to think about it thoroughly, he didn’t know when the feelings he had towards his childhood friend had started to become something more than simple friendship. He just couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment; maybe because they had been together since forever. 

At that moment, sitting at the desk right behind Mafuyu’s in their last year of junior high school and looking at the other’s soft, salmon-pink hair, he was reminded of the swishing sound of trees swaying in the wind, the smell of fresh-cut grass, cicada’s noises and soft hiccups; a flash of orange and a child leaning against a tree with the head between his legs, as if he was trying to protect himself against a threat Yuki wasn’t able to see. 

He had seen the boy a few times before at the park near his house, but he had never seen him talking to anyone. He just swung on the swing by himself all the time. 

“What are you doing?” He had asked him curiously, peeking over a bush and holding up the small airplane that his mother had given him for his birthday.  
The other boy flinched slightly but didn’t reply. 

“Can you speak?” He tried again, once he realized the other didn’t seem inclined to reply. 

Big, sad eyes bore into his own for a moment and the hand that was making the plane fly stopped mid-air.  
He was expecting to see his eyes full of tears since he had heard him hiccuping, but that wasn’t the case. They seemed empty and they lacked warmth. 

“My dad hits me if I speak.” The boy replied in a melodious and equally sad voice. 

Yuki’s breath hitched and for a few seconds just the wind could be heard in that silent part of the park. He clenched his small fists; he was angry and he felt the sudden urge to protect the boy in front of him. 

He got close to him and carefully extended his hand towards the boy. The child looked at it but didn’t move, as if he didn’t understand the gesture. 

“I’m not your dad.” Yuki said. “What’s your name?” 

The boy bit his lips in distress. It was as if he wanted to reply but fear was preventing him from doing it. 

“My name is Yuki. Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you.” 

Something in the other’s eyes shifted: a flash of hope. The boy exhaled softly. 

“Mafuyu… My name is Mafuyu.” He finally replied. Yuki smiled sweetly. 

“Take my hand, Mafuyu. I will never make you feel lonely ever again.” 

Mafuyu reached for Yuki’s small hand and squeezed it tightly, making sure it was real. They ran through the park holding hands, and from that moment, he never let it go. 

At the time they were 5 years old and a few weeks after that fateful meeting, Mafuyu’s father had been arrested for domestic violence against his son and wife. 

Yuki’s mother had helped them and their families had grown close, probably because Yuki’s mother was a single mom too.  
Since then, they have never separated. Not too long after, they met Hiiragi, and later Shizusumi. They all lived in the same neighborhood.

The four of them were inseparable childhood friends and Yuki cherished them deeply. He certainly couldn’t afford to lose any of them. 

Were his feelings for Mafuyu a threat to their friendship? His heart hurt just at the thought of never being able to hold his hand ever again. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to touch him, to see his smile. He wanted to make him happy; to protect him forever from anything that could hurt him. 

Maybe he was just confused; maybe these feelings were going to go away if he got himself a girlfriend. The four of them were quite popular at school, so he didn’t think it would be a difficult task for any of them. 

“Yuki…” 

Maybe the reason was that he had always hung out just with them in his whole life and he was a teenager in his full adolescence, with raging hormones.  
But then why didn't he feel the same thing towards Hiiragi or Shizu? 

“Yuki!” 

He jumped out of his seat and found himself standing, in a confusional state. 

“Yoshida-kun,” The teacher started. “I hope you know that my class isn’t your nap time.” Everyone around him was chuckling, Hiiragi more than the others; his signature evil grin plastered on his face and Yuki was sure he was the reason he was being scolded. He gave him a dirty look and Hiiragi knew he was going to pay for it. 

“I’m sorry.” Yuki muttered then, bowing to the teacher. The latter sighed. 

“You can sit now.”

Mafuyu turned towards him and gave him a worried, inquisitive look. 

Yuki smiled and shook his head to reassure him, mouthing a “I’m fine.”  
He then chuckled fondly at the scene of Mafuyu turning towards Hiiragi and giving him a disappointed look, that made the latter shiver. It was funny since there was no one Hiiragi feared more than Mafuyu. 

As the bell rang, everyone started to pick up their things and leave. 

There were just the three of them and two more girls left inside the class. They were whispering something and glancing towards them. 

They had seen that scene countless times, they just didn’t know who their target was that time. 

One of the girls approached them and stopped right in front of Yuki.

“Uhm… Yoshida-kun.” She was stuttering. “This… this is for you. I hope you’ll think about it and give me your answer soon.” She said, handing him a letter. 

“Thank you.” Yuki smiled politely and the girl’s cheeks turned pink. He had to admit she was cute. 

She then ran towards her friend and they left in a hurry. At that moment Shizu entered the class. 

“Another love letter, Yuki?” He asked, unimpressed and actually not even that interested. 

“Yeah, it seems so.” 

“Aww, another broken heart!” Hiiragi teased him. 

“Well, who knows! She’s cute, don’t you think so?” 

The silence in the room was deafening. He didn’t miss the troubled look Hiiragi and Shizu exchanged. For some reason he didn’t understand, it was as if they were holding their breath. 

“Did I say anything wrong?” He asked with an awkward laugh, looking towards Mafuyu. And his own breath caught in a moment, because the other boy was looking at him with the same empty expression he had back then when they first met; the very expression he made when he had to protect himself from something. And Yuki couldn’t believe this time it was addressed to him.

“Yes, she was cute.” Mafuyu replied, smiling. But it was nothing more than a plastered-on fake smile. “Good for you, Yuki. Don’t make her wait too long.” 

It hurt. Those words and that expression hurt. 

“Mafu…” he tried to reach for him but the other turned around and shifted before Yuki could actually touch him. 

“Let’s go, guys! It’s getting late.” Mafuyu declared, leaving the classroom first. 

Hiiragi and Shizu looked at Yuki in a displeased way and, on their way home, Mafuyu never once looked at him. 

And it hurt like hell.


	2. Chapter 2

Mafuyu was lying on his bed, his arm covering his eyes and a cold towel on his forehead. His mother was travelling for work and he had been down with a high fever for the past two days. He was actually thankful for it, since he really didn’t feel like going to school to witness his best friend accepting to go out with the girl who confessed to him a few days earlier. He was drenched with sweat and he hadn’t been eating much, since he had no strength to leave his bed whatsoever.

On the lockscreen of his phone there were 27 missed calls and 60 unread messages, most of which were from Yuki, but also from Hiiragi and Shizusumi, who were worried about him.  
He had only replied to his mother, so that she wouldn’t worry too much about him and come back home earlier than she should. He definitely needed this chance to be alone and in the darkness of his room, in all his deliriousness, he was well aware of the fact that he had to let go of his unrequited feelings for Yuki. 

Ha had noticed how, recently, the other had been distancing himself from him: his spontaneous touches were less frequent, and more than once he had caught him stopping halfway his already extended hand, originally out to reach him.  
His heart kept breaking a little more every time he noticed new, small changes in the way Yuki treated him. It made him feel lonely and rejected… as if he was being replaced, slowly but surely. 

Mafuyu was aware about the rumors surrounding the two of them. When they were too close, he could hear their schoolmates’ whispers. It never bothered him before, because he didn’t really care about what people thought about them. But maybe Yuki had noticed all these things and he was grossed out.  
Or worse, had he figured out his feelings and he was feeling disgusted? 

That day when the girl had approached him to give him the letter, he was sure Yuki wouldn’t have been interested in the slightest. It had always been like that: they received the letters and the confessions but always rejected them. No one had ever caught the attention of any of them before.  
So what was different with that particular girl? His heart was aching in his chest. 

Thanks to his personality, Yuki had always been the most popular among the four of them. He was like the sun, always showing the bright sides of himself. He was a born leader, bold and confident, a mood maker; everyone wanted to be close to him, and in fact, he drew people to him. So no one could really understand what he could have in common with someone like Mafuyu, who was the total opposite of him.  
Because if Yuki was the sun, Mafuyu was the moon; quiet and introverted, mysterious and observant. They were like day and night.  
But in all their differences, they had found the perfect balance, like two opposite magnetic poles getting attracted to each other. And this was clear to anyone who bothered to really look beyond the surface. ‘Cause when they were together, it was as if everything in the world fell in the right place. 

Truthfully, Mafuyu had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with Yuki years earlier. 

Since the very beginning, both of them had always been lonely and damaged somehow, but soon enough they had started filling up the lacking parts of the other. Because even if Yuki was easy going and always had a smile on his face, Mafuyu knew that he carried a lot of wounds in his heart too. He liked to think that, from the start, they had been each other’s medicine. 

When they were little, the other boy had saved him: with heartwarming kindness, the other boy had extended his small hand to reach his own, earned his trust and protected him, just as he had promised, for all those years. 

But why did he feel like Yuki’s hand was slipping from his own now?

He had never been good at showing his feelings, but somehow, Yuki had always been the only one who could get through him. He didn’t want to let go of something that felt so right. He wasn’t ready and he probably never will. 

The incessant pounding on the door downstairs startled him from his thoughts abruptly. His heart started to race as the violent sound awoke an old feeling of raw fear inside of him. He curled up on himself in a protective stance and covered his ears, his body was trembling even more. 

“MAFUYU!” A voice shouted from behind the door. It was desperate and scared, but he recognized it. How could he not? It was the voice who had saved him from the pit of darkness he had fallen into and gently made him see the light again. 

“Mafuyu, are you in there? Please, open the door.” 

He wanted to see him. He really wanted to. But if he were to see him now, all of his resolution would crumble like a sand castle. 

“Just… Just let me see with my eyes that you’re okay! Please!” Yuki’s voice cracked, and it was one of the most agonizing sounds Mafuyu had ever heard. He bit his lower lip in distress. 

He tried to get up from the bed but he stumbled, taking with him the abat-jour on his night stand that crashed next to him on the floor with a loud noise. He felt extremely weak, both physically and mentally. His breath quivered in short, quick breaths every time he inhaled, his lungs having no choice but to painfully take in the air around him and his eyes were full of tears that, as always, he wasn’t able to shed.

The pounding ceased and his phone started buzzing. His stomach twisted painfully. He tried to reach the phone but his arm felt heavy, giving him no other choice but to curl up on himself on the floor. The towel had slipped from his forehead and was laying next to him. He was breathing heavily, and the last thing he remembered was the loud crash of the window opening and beautiful, worried hazel eyes looking at him. 

\--------- 

The previous two days had been awful for Yuki.  
It was probably the first time he had been far from Mafuyu for that long and he was feeling like an alcoholic without his daily dose; not to mention the fact that he knew he was being avoided. He just couldn’t figure out the reason why. When he had asked Hiiragi and Shizu if they had a clue about what he could have done, they had looked at him like he was the most hopeless person walking on earth and they had even sighed at the same time. 

Also, for the first time ever, Mafuyu had skipped school without mentioning anything to them and it was utterly frustrating. 

The three of them had tried to reach him, but it was as if he had disappeared. Mafuyu and Yuki were neighbors, and Yuki tried to peek from his bedroom’s window countless times, but the lights were out and the curtains closed. It was unusual and they couldn’t help but worry. But no matter how many times they had called or written to him, no reply came. At least he was ignoring all of them, not just him, and that was a small relief. The silent treatment was painful nonetheless though, and Yuki thought he was going crazy when, for the second day in a row, Mafuyu was nowhere to be seen.  
As he was sending him another message while he was sitting on his desk inside the almost empty classroom just before the start of the classes, he noticed that in front of him was standing the girl who gave him the letter a few days earlier. 

“Uhm, Yoshida-kun.” She started. “Do you have a reply yet?” 

At that moment, he remembered Mafuyu’s face when he had said the girl was cute and that he was seriously thinking about going out with her.  
And it struck him.  
He knew that he had to see him; that they had to talk.  
He knew that he had been an oblivious asshole. 

“Yoshida-kun…” 

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at the girl.

“I’m sorry, I can’t go out with you.” He apologized quickly as he stood up abruptly. 

She wasn’t expecting that. Since she hadn’t been rejected on the spot, she thought she actually had a chance. 

“Why? Give me a reason!” She grabbed the sleeve of Yuki’s uniform, holding him back, and her tone was demanding and barely polite. It annoyed him.

“I have someone I like.” He declared, firmly shoving off the girl’s hand and grabbing his bag to rush outside, leaving everyone inside the class dumbfounded. 

He crossed paths with Hiiragi on the hallway, while the other was coming back from the toilet. His friend was looking at him with widened eyes, wondering what was going on for him to run outside of the classroom with his bag. 

“Hiiragi, I’m going to Mafuyu!” Yuki declared with urgency as, for literally a second, he stopped in front of him before starting to run again. People turned to look at him as he passed them, and even a teacher was left speechless for a moment, before calling out his name in shock as he realized that the boy was definitely not running towards the classroom.

Hiiragi was standing dumbfounded in the middle of the hallway, when the sound of the bell made him snap out of it and he made his way back to the class. The mood was weird and people came to him asking who was the person Yuki liked, since he had boldly declared it in front of the whole class. 

Hiiragi facepalmed and sat at his desk, dismissing everyone else. “Well, better late than never.” He muttered with a grin, looking out of the window. 

———

Once outside, Yuki called Mafuyu’s mother who was surprised to learn that none of the boys, especially him, knew that her son was at home with a fever, while Mafuyu had told her that they were taking care of him. She sounded worried, but Yuki assured her that he was going to check up on him.  
At the same time, Yuki was even more worried to learn that Mafuyu had been home alone for two days while he was sick. He felt an asshole, because he literally had to cross the garden and knock on the door, but his stupid pride had prevented him to.  
He quickly stopped by the pharmacy and the convenience store, then rushed to his childhood friend’s house. 

He banged at the door in the cold for at least 15 minutes begging the other to open. He was freezing, but he refused to give up. He couldn’t go back without seeing him, so after looking around and actually pondering if it was better to jump from his window or not, he rushed to the tree in front of the other’s boy room and started to climb it up as he did when they were little. He was thankful for his athletic body, even if he knew he couldn’t do anything to prevent the scratches he would find all over his body later. 

When he finally landed on the balcony, he found himself confronted by a sight that, for a moment, made his heart stop: his childhood friend was lying on the floor seemingly unconscious. 

“MAFUYU!” He yelled. 

Thankfully he found the window slightly open, so he slid it violently to the side and dashed inside the room, taking Mafuyu’s burning body in his arms. He called his name several times in panic and he was ready to call an ambulance, when the other finally opened his eyes and looked at him. 

He was close. So close that Yuki could count his beautiful eyelashes and flushed from the fever, droplets of sweat falling from his beautiful hair; his shirt was wet and he had a clear view of his collarbone.  
He smelled like vanilla and cherry blossoms, and Yuki thought it was hilarious since a sick, sweaty person should have a pungent, unlikable smell. His body was so warm that Yuki felt his own freezing body heating up too.

“Yu... Yuki.” it was just a feeble whisper, but the way Mufuyu’s voice caressed his name, made his heart race. 

“Hey… I’m here.” His hand went to Mafuyu’s cheek and the other leaned on his touch. He was as pale as ever and his lips were chapped. “You really scared me to death!” 

Mafuyu let out a weak chuckle and Yuki took him in his arms, carrying him to his bed and then tucking him in. 

He then picked up the towel to go freshen it up, but he felt a tug at his shirt that made him stop in his tracks. 

“Don’t… Don’t leave me.” Mafuyu’s voice sounded so broken that he felt like crying. He dropped on his knees on the side of the bed and held those burning hands between his own. 

“I won't _ ever_ leave you.” He whispered back with earnest eyes, as he watched Mafuyu’s ones slowly closing once again. 

Yuki let out a loud sigh and left the room with the towel in his hands. His phone rang and he took the call with shaky fingers while heading to the kitchen. 

“Ohi, Hiiragi.” He answered, trying not to give away how shaken he was. 

“Yuki, could you reach Mafu-chan?” His friend asked. 

“Yes. He… He has a high fever. I found him on the floor unconscious.” He cursed himself as he stuttered and he hoped Hiiragi hadn’t noticed. 

“How is he now? I’m gonna come over there with Shizu-chan in a few hours. We’re still at school. Does he need to be taken to the hospital? Do you need us to buy something on our way there?” 

“Wow, slow down. He’s sleeping now, but I bought some porridge ingredients on my way here and I’m going to feed him soon to give him the medicine. He’s burning up.” 

Hiiragi gasped. 

“That stupid. Not replying to our calls and messages and going through this by himself. I’m glad you called Mashiro-san and she told you.” 

“Yes, me too.” 

“Yuki… Are you okay?” Hiiragi had heard his friend’s voice trembling and he couldn’t help but worry.

“I’m okay. I’ll see you later.” 

After he hung up the phone, Yuki went back to the room and kneeled next to Mafuyu once again. He stopped for a few moments to look at the sleepy face he loved and he felt like his heart was being crushed.  
Shaking, he leaned closer and kissed Mafuyu’s forehead sweetly, as if he was touching something fragile and precious. A heaving sob tore from his throat and a lone tear streamed from his eye, falling on the other’s cheek. 

_“I’m sorry…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are well accepted! I hope you’ll let me know what you think about the fic so far! ♡


	3. Chapter 3

Yuki called Mafuyu’s mom to update her about Mafuyu’s condition, deciding against telling her the details about the state he had found her son; he didn’t want her to worry more than necessary since he didn’t plan on leaving him anyway. She was thankful and he could feel it in her voice; she didn’t even bother to hide the fondness in it and it warmed up his heart a little. To him, Mafuyu’s mother was like a second mom, and he knew she regarded him the same way, like a son. 

After he finished talking to her, he carefully moved the sticky hair from Mafuyu’s forehead and placed the wet towel; his fingers lingering on the boy’s face more than necessary, tracing the contour of his plush, dry lips and imagining how they would feel on his own. 

He sighed heavily then, snapping out of his fantasies and sinking down on the hard floor, leaning against the bed and grabbing his right hand with the left one to make it stop shaking. He felt drained: the sight of Mafuyu lying unconscious on the floor was still fresh in his mind. He started panting and he tried focusing to calm his erratic breathing, while the past two hours were restlessly replaying on his mind on loop, bile rising in the back of his throat.

He knew now how stupid he had been to even think that he could put aside his feelings for Mafuyu by going out with a girl. He had been so focused on trying to preserve their friendship that he overlooked the fact that what he was doing could lead him to that same end he wanted to avoid. He just couldn’t even imagine his life without Mafuyu. He had been a coward and he hated himself to death for that, because that misunderstanding could have been avoided if only he had been just a little bit braver. Had he tried to fix everything immediately when he saw Mafuyu’s expression that day, none of this would have happened. He had always been right there, next to him, but he hesitated because of his many insecurities. And Yuki knew he wouldn’t ever be able to forgive himself if something had happened to him, even if at the same time he couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed at Mafuyu’s behavior for cutting him out in turn. Both of them had behaved childishly. 

His thoughts were getting foggy, he felt the tension and the adrenaline going down and he started feeling drowsy. And before he knew it, he was falling asleep. 

———

A few hours later, a loud gasp made him jolt in his sleep, causing his eyes to open abruptly. It took him a few seconds to distinguish his surroundings and when he turned around, he saw Mafuyu looking at him in shock. 

“Yuki? What… what are you doing here?” Mafuyu’s voice was weak, symptom of the fact that he wasn’t feeling well. But the genuine surprise in his eyes was obvious. 

Yuki rubbed his eyes to make them focus, still drunk with sleep. He then moved up and sat on the bed, right next to him; Mafuyu looked entirely dazed and confused, his cheeks were flushed and Yuki couldn’t help the fond smile that graced his face. At that moment, he realized how much of a goner he was. 

“I came to see you, stupid.” He replied with his signature grin. 

“But…” Mafuyu took in the sight of Yuki’s ripped shirt and nasty scratches all over his body. Even his trousers weren’t in a good condition. “Oh my god, what happened to you??” He asked while compulsively touching the ripped parts of the uniform.

“I climbed the tower to get to the princess.” He replied with a playful wink, earning a slap on his arm. 

“Are you crazy? You could have hurt yourself! Tell me you didn’t jump from your house’s balcony!” Mafuyu was angry and he was shouting beyond the limit of his current capacity, and Yuki was scared that the other was going to faint once again, so he conveniently decided to not mention that the thought to jump from his balcony had actually crossed his mind. 

“Mafuyu, calm down. I’m okay, nothing happened; I just climbed the tree in front of your room, like we did when we were little.” His voice was steady and he attempted an angelic smile, covering Mafuyu’s hand with his own in order to reassure him, but it didn’t quite work as he wished. The other subtly retreated his hand, avoiding the touch as if it was burning him and Yuki tried to ignore the painful sting he felt in his heart. It had never happened before; he was sure that his touches had always comforted the other boy as much as it comforted him, a soothing warmth spreading from the contact point whenever their skin touched. 

“You’re crazy! Why can’t you just be mature for once? You always make me worry about you!”

At that, Yuki snapped.

“Look who’s talking! Do you know how fucking scared I was when I found you unconscious on the floor? What did you think you were doing, cutting us out and lying to your mother? You could have been in danger, and yet here you are, scolding me about not being mature?” He shouted back, his hands trembling once again. 

Mafuyu’s eyes widened in surprise; it was the first time he had seen Yuki that shaken and angry, not to mention that it was probably the first time they were seriously arguing or that he himself had been raising his voice. It was so out of character for him. 

“It was just a slight fever, Yuki. I can take care of myself!” Mafuyu replied stubbornly, even though his first instinct was to apologize and hug the person he loved. He was hurt and feverish, but he didn’t want to give in, because the thought of another person touching the boy in front of him was extremely painful; the thought that those breathtaking smiles won’t be for him anymore; that his hand wasn’t going to hold his own anymore. He hated it. 

“Sure, and look where it took us! I was at school and I had to run here because you have been so stupid to think you could take care of yourself!” Yuki replied. 

“Well, I’m sorry you had to leave your precious _girlfriend_ to come here!” He shouted back and Yuki froze. They were both breathing heavily and for a few seconds they fell silent. 

Mafuyu broke the eye contact and turned his head towards the wall to hide the pain and the shame he knew Yuki would have seen in them. He knew he had no right to blame him if the other had really found someone he wanted to be with. He wasn’t that kind of selfish person and if Yuki was happy, then he was going to be happy for him. He just needed time to accept the painful truth that he didn’t belong by his side, even though his heart told him he did. 

“Go away, please. I just… I need to be alone right now.” He had no strength to fight anymore, his voice was just a weak whisper and he was biting his lower lip in distress. 

Yuki’s heart swelled at the sound of the broken voice. The fight left him too, because he finally realized that something was amiss. That in the end there was a chance their feelings were the same and they were just fighting to protect themselves. It had been impossible not to notice Mafuyu’s bitterness when he said the word “girlfriend” and as he had figured out earlier at school, this situation was nothing more than a stupid misunderstanding. But again, it was his fault too. 

“To think that just a few hours ago you were begging me not to leave you...” He muttered as he stood up from the bed and walked towards the door. 

Mafuyu gasped at his words; he was sure he had dreamt about that moment, when he had pleaded him to stay. Thankfully his blush couldn’t get any worse since his cheeks were already reddish from the fever. 

“I… I didn’t.” He denied with a slight pout. 

“Okay, I’m going then.” Yuki replied, taking a deep breath to calm down and doing his best to ignore the broken whine coming from behind him, or he wouldn’t be able to leave the room. He closed the door behind him, without turning back. 

Once in the kitchen, he put the apron on and gathered the porridge ingredients on the table. He was quite skilled at cooking, and he loved to do it for Mafuyu. He wondered hopelessly if there even was anything he didn’t love doing for him. 

He rinsed the rice and let it soak in the water for awhile, before draining it completely and then re-adding it to put the pot on the stove to make it boil. He then gently mixed it with the spoon for a few minutes and it was finally ready. 

When he came back inside the room, he noticed a trembling form under the covers and he felt bad for letting the other believe that he was really leaving. Mafuyu turned around in surprise when he heard the door opening, his mouth going slack as he took in the sight of Yuki carrying a tray. 

“Lunch is ready.” He declared. 

“You- I thought- I’m not hungry!” He muttered almost outraged at the fact that Yuki had tricked him into thinking he was leaving. His statement was quickly proven wrong when his treacherous stomach betrayed him and grumbled, making him blush furiously. Yuki couldn’t help but chuckle in amusement. 

“I don’t want to see you!” He protested while covering his head in shame under the covers once again. 

“Mafuyu… look at me.” Yuki coaxed gently, as he sat next to him and placed the tray with the porridge on the nightstand to lift the covers from him. 

The other tried to resist a bit, but in the end he surrendered with a protesting noise, letting himself be handled as Yuki helped him to sit on the bed so that he was in a comfortable position to eat. 

Mafuyu crossed his arms and looked the other way, just like a child. 

“_Baby_, look at me.” Yuki repeated, taking Mafuyu completely off guard and causing him to turn abruptly towards him; his eyes fluttering in bewilderment at the endearment. 

“I owe you an apology.” His eyes were stern and sincere, his tone soft. “I was scared: I thought the best thing I could do was to get a girlfriend and try to forget about my feelings for you.” Yuki’s smile was the kind of painful smile that had the power to leave you breathless. Because even though Yuki was a dominant person, he had always looked at Mafuyu as if he were the stars and the moon. And surely enough, Mafuyu’s breath caught in his throat, unshed tears shining in his eyes. 

“I turned her down. I… These days have been awful. I missed you like I would miss the air if I were to be left without oxygen. My chest hurt more than I can even explain. The look you gave me the other day in class… It was the same you had when we first met and it knocked the air out of my lungs. The fact that I was the cause of those empty eyes, made me feel sick to the bone. But I was scared, I didn’t want to lose you! I was afraid that my feelings for you were going to destroy our friendship, because the truth is that I don’t want to be your friend anymore; I want to be so much more than that.” He confessed.

He could read a handful of emotions in Mafuyu’s face and it made him feel special because he knew he was probably the only one who could do that. Their hearts were hammering against their rib cages in unison and the silent room suddenly seemed awfully loud. 

But what made Yuki widen his eyes in utter shock were the few, silent tears falling from Mafuyu’s eyes. They had known each other for their whole lives and it was the first time he had seen him crying. The other had always said that he wasn’t able to convey his feelings as easily as other people, but at that moment, it was as if he was bare in front of him. And Yuki adored him, he always had. 

He felt like his heart was melting for the boy in front of him. He had never questioned it before because there was no need to, but when he saw the other slipping away from him, he knew that it wasn’t just him who had saved Mafuyu: he was saved by him too. During all those years, he had brought him joy, inspiration, laughter and calmness. He felt _safe_. They were what people called _soulmates_, he was sure of it. 

“I love you, Mafuyu. I’ve always loved you. My life would be incomplete without you.” 

Mafuyu’s body was shaking and he tried to hide himself from Yuki but it was pointless as the latter prevented him from turning the other way. 

“You’re the only person I can imagine by my side. I can only see my future with you, I want to spend my life with no other but you.” He whispered while reaching Mafuyu’s tears with his thumb and swiping them away softly. Somehow, he felt like crying too. 

“I… too…” he tried to say between the soft sobs, but Yuki didn’t need to hear more. He cupped his face and kissed his forehead, lingering on it for a few seconds. He then tenderly kissed his eyes and nose as if he was something fragile and precious and Mafuyu’s heart had never felt that full. When he leaned to kiss his lips though, Mafuyu stopped him by clenching Yuki’ sweater with his small hand. 

“You’ll… You’re going to catch a cold like this.” he whispered, but it was as clear as the sky that he wanted that kiss as much as Yuki did. 

“I don’t care about catching a fever. You’re the only thing that matters to me.” he told him, pressing their foreheads together. 

Mafuyu seemed so innocent and vulnerable that Yuki knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold back any longer. He looked at him to search his eyes and he knew he had the permission, so he gently leaned in again and kissed his warm lips. 

It was like a dream come true, the feeling of those lips on his own. It felt so right, it ignited something foreign inside both of them, leaving them gasping for air. It tasted like unspoken promises and realness, desire and love. Their first kiss. 

They pulled apart for a moment, taking shaky, shallow breaths. Unable to contain himself anymore, Yuki pulled him into a fiery, passionate kiss, sucking on the other’s bottom lip and nibbling at it. Mafuyu opened his mouth granting access and Yuki’s tongue delved inside of it. His hand was on Mafuyu’s back, gently pressing him down on the soft mattress. The small and desperate moan Mafuyu made as Yuki’s tongue stroked the roof of his mouth made him feel the curl of desire in his gut and tore a low groan out of his throat. 

Mafuyu tangled his fingers between Yuki’s ash-blond, soft hair and the other couldn’t believe Mafuyu was really there, burning hot and melting into him. Their hands were roaming over their clothed bodies, to start learning every curve by heart. They lost track of how long they were kissing, completely forgetting the rest of the world. And when they broke the kiss, Mafuyu’s mouth was swollen and wet. 

Yuki looked at him with half-lidded eyes and Mafuyu shuddered. 

“I think it’s better if we stop here for now…” Yuki’s voice was husky, a low register that Mafuyu didn’t know yet, and that made his heart skip a beat.

Yuki tried to get up from the bed because he needed to cool down, but Mafuyu held him back by gripping a piece of his sweater. 

“I… I love you too.” He pulled him down for another brief kiss and Yuki was astounded when he saw the other’s beautiful smile. It was blinding, as if he was directly looking at the sun. 

With his hands shaking from the emotion, Yuki took the porridge from the nightstand and brought the spoon to Mafuyu’s mouth. They stared at each other for a second, then the feverish boy parted his lips and let himself be fed. 

For as much as he could taste, the porridge was amazing. He already knew Yuki's cooking skills were good, since most of the time during their childhood their mothers were away for work and the two boys had to take care of themselves. Mafuyu could tell that the meal had been prepared with extra care, so he ate everything, not leaving a single grain of rice, and Yuki was radiant. 

He was ready to head to the kitchen to wash the dishes, but Mafuyu stopped him. 

“Come here…” Mafuyu said shyly, making room for Yuki next to him. 

“So demanding.” He grinned while placing the pot on the nightstand again and finally lying next to the person he loved. 

“I can't believe this is really happening.” He whispered as they were looking into each other’s eyes and holding hands under the covers. 

“Me neither…” Mafuyu replied, slightly biting his lower lip. He then closed his eyes and started humming a song Yuki didn’t recognize, as if he was just composing it at that very moment. It was as if he was singing him a sweet lullaby. His heart hammered against his chest and he couldn’t help but stare at him lovingly and caress his hair. When the other stopped humming, Yuki knew he had fallen asleep. He then turned the other way not long after that, so Yuki got closer to spoon him and held him tight, protecting him from anything that could hurt him, from any bad dream he might have. 

He kissed the back of his neck and as he also found himself surrendering to sleep, sure that nothing could ever be better than listening to Mafuyu’s heartbeat as he was soundly asleep in his arms. And he could only hope that those were just the first of many perfect moments to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My MafuYuki feels are really strong right now.  
Let me know what you think about the story so far!♡


	4. Chapter 4

Mafuyu woke up in the darkness feeling incredibly warm, and it wasn’t just because of the fever: it was a cozy feeling that he could feel spreading through his whole body. Yuki’s arms wrapped around him were bringing a peace he had never felt before, as if the storm inside of him was finally being appeased.  
For the first time in his life, he felt like there was nothing out there to fear; he was safe in his embrace and if someone were to ask him what he thought heaven was, he would have replied that it was being right there, in Yuki’s arms. The hot breath on his neck was giving him major goosebumps.

There was just a dim light from outside since the sun had gone down early, as it was normal during winter. He looked at the clock in his room and found out that it was already 5pm. He really didn’t want to move from there, he wished it was possible to stop the time and stay like that forever. 

After almost 15 minutes, he carefully turned to face Yuki, hoping not to wake him up. He wanted to feel those strong arms around him for a little bit longer. He stared at him for awhile, trying to tattoo on his mind every small detail. He was sweating and he still had his ripped clothes on. He was probably in need of a shower, since his white shirt was soaked and glued to his body. 

He didn’t want to think about what could have happened if he had hurt himself while climbing up the tree. With a worried expression on his face, he caressed the bruises on Yuki’s arms where the shirt was ripped, then his fingers traced the contour of his body from his arm to his face until he reached his soft, ash-blond hair with a fond smile gracing his face. 

He couldn’t believe that he could finally say Yuki was his; that their feelings were mutual and their love wasn’t impossible anymore, while just a few hours earlier he was trying to lock those feelings deep inside his heart to let him go. 

He was startled out of his thoughts when Yuki gently held his hand and brought it to his own cheek while opening his eyes slowly. Hazel eyes were boring on his own and his smile was so dazzling that Mafuyu had to remember how to breathe. 

“I can’t believe you’re really here in my arms.” Yuki whispered gently, mirroring Mafuyu’s thoughts as if he had actually read his mind. 

“Me neither…” the boy replied.

Yuki swiftly shifted over him, his knee between Mafuyu’s legs. The other boy’s breath hitched as the waves of warmth radiating from Yuki’s body crashed into his own. The blond had a serious expression on his face and Mafuyu gulped, wondering what his next move would be. What he surely wasn’t expecting, was Yuki tickling him to death. 

“Yu- I can’t breathe!” he started laughing like he hadn’t done for a long time and his right hand automatically went to cup Yuki’s cheek, while his left one embraced him by his neck sweetly. Yuki’s mouth curved into a sweet smile too. 

“I missed seeing you smile.” Yuki whispered as he cupped his face and leaned in to kiss him, nibbling on his bottom lip and dragging his tongue across the contour of those rosy lips, wetting them. His hands and lips were incredibly warm. 

“I wish I could keep kissing you forever! How did it take us so long to get here?”

“Because it seems that we’re both incredibly stupid.” Mafuyu grinned and Yuki was so radiant that, even in the darkness, it was as if the sun was shining inside the room. 

“Yuki…” 

“Mmh?” 

“I think you’ve got a fever.” 

———

In the end as expected, Yuki had caught a cold too. 

“I told you it would have happened.” Mafuyu snorted holding the thermometer showing 38.5 on its display, feeling a bit guilty. 

The other didn’t seem to mind it though. He gave him a reassuring smile as Mafuyu put a wet towel over his forehead, since now it was his turn to take care of him.  
His own fever hadn’t completely gone down yet; Yuki had forced him to check his temperature too and it was 37.5, but he had regained a little bit of strength at least. The medicine was probably working since he could stand, even if shakily.

“It’s as if you sucked away all my strength with your lips. Like an incubus!” Yuki snickered, touching his lip contemplatively. 

Mafuyu blushed cutely and slapped his arm bashfully, and Yuki thought he would never get tired of seeing all those different expressions. He loved to tease him.  
But Mafuyu’s expression then changed suddenly and became somehow darker, making Yuki shudder. 

“Stupid, don’t you know that incubus feed on their partners by having sex?” He added suggestively, licking his lips slowly and leaning down so that Yuki could feel his hot breath on his face.

And fuck, the situation had mercilessly backfired on him quite quickly. As always, when he was sure he had the upper hand with Mafuyu, it turned out that the other had everything under control. He was extremely blunt, and that was the reason even a snarky person like Hiiragi was always at a loss whenever he tried to playfully bully him.

Even if some situations seemed to put him at a disadvantage, he always found a way to turn things in his favor. And at that very moment, Yuki could feel the effects of that not so innocent seduction traveling through his body like lava. He could swear he could feel his fever getting higher by the second.

“Mafuyu…” he groaned desperately in admonishment, while the other grinned in satisfaction. 

“That’s a small payback.” He winked and stole a brief kiss from his lips, leaving him all bothered and wanting. He had to admit that he would always gladly surrender to the boy in front of him. 

The bell suddenly rang, startling both of them. 

“Hiiragi and Shizu-chan must be here. I’m going to open the door.” He said as he left the room. Briefly left alone, Yuki put his head under the covers and tried to think of ugly things to calm his raging hormones. 

“Damn…” he whispered in frustration. 

He heard the door closing and prepared himself for Hiiragi teasing him to no end, and sure enough his friend came through the door as loud as always, throwing himself over him on the bed, making Yuki groan in pain when his friend’s weight crushed his already weak body.  
Mafuyu and Shizu came inside after him, quietly chatting and not surprised at the scene displayed in front of them. They were used to it. 

“Wow, when Mafuyu told me I didn’t want to believe it. How is it possible that you came here to take care of a sick person and in the end _you_ became the sick person?” he smirked, giving him a suspicious stare. Yuki felt like Hiiragi was reading his mind and he hoped his face was calm enough to trick him. 

Since everything was so new to both of them and they were the first ones who still couldn't believe their feelings were mutual, they didn't want to say anything to their friends yet, even if they wanted to share the news with them. He was sure Hiiragi and Shizu would accept their relationship. Who better than them could understand? 

“I guess the room was already full of germs when I arrived and I wasn’t spared apparently. I even had to carry Mafuyu on the bed since I found him on the floor, remember?” 

“I wonder ~ The classroom was a mess when I came back from the toilet after you ran away this morning. They said you turned down Yamada-san and declared you had someone else you liked in front of the whole class.”

Both Yuki and Mafuyu blushed madly. The latter couldn’t believe Yuki had really said that in front of the whole class.   


“Hiiragi.” Mafuyu admonished him, and the other seemed like a deer in the headlights. 

“You’ve always been so harsh with me, Mafu-chan. You never scold Yuki and you always give the best things to him. I remember when we were kids and you were supposed to share your tangerine with us, you gave him the biggest part, while I got just a small piece. So mean!” He pouted ferociously. 

“That’s not true ~ I’m always fair.” He said with innocent eyes. 

“You’re the devil dressed as an angel! People who don’t know you would think I’m lying. Do you guys agree with me?” He asked, looking at Yuki first and then at Shizusumi. There were a few seconds of silence and the other two looked around the room to avoid to reply.

“Anyway, we just wanted to check how you are doing. We don’t want to catch a cold too, right?” Shizu broke the silence, changing topic and turning to Hiiragi. 

“But… Shizu-chan! I knew Yuki would have avoided to reply because he’s scared of Mafuyu, but you can’t betray me too!” Hiiragi complained with an outraged expression on his face. 

Yuki couldn’t help but chuckle at his friends’ antics. His laugh and smile were that infectious that the others couldn’t help but laugh too. 

“By the way, Yuki. You didn’t forget that we have an appointment for _that_ in two days, right? You better feel well or I’m going to drag you out of your bed whatever your condition is!” Hiiragi grinned. 

“Of course I remember! Don’t worry, I’m sure tomorrow I’ll feel better already!” Yuki replied with a smirk in return. 

Mafuyu and Shizu looked at them suspiciously. 

“What are the two of you planning?” Mafuyu asked, narrowing his eyes.

“It surely can’t be anything good if you didn’t tell us anything.” Shizu stated. 

“That’s true, Shizu-chan. Do you remember when we left them together for a few hours a few months ago and they came back with bleached hair? I can still hear the teacher’s yells!” Mafuyu complained. 

“I’m sure they’re going to get another earful for whatever they’re planning.” Shizu added nodding.

“What are you saying? My hair was just slightly lighter than before. Hiiragi was the one who went through a drastic change!” Yuki added.

“It’s a secret ~. You’ll both be surprised!” Hiiragi replied, giving them a playful smile. The other two just sighed, hoping the two hotheads of the group wouldn’t cause any troubles. 

———

Three days later, Mafuyu was waiting for Yuki in front of their houses to go to school. The previous day, he had seen Yuki and Hiiragi all excited about whatever they had to do, while he stayed back at the library to study with Shizu. They wondered what the other two were going to do, but they didn’t have a clue. 

He had tried to make Yuki talk, but nothing. Strangely enough his lips were sealed. Not even his puppy eyes had worked, even though the other had to cover his eyes not to fall into temptation, but he didn’t insist that much either. 

When Yuki got out from his house, he smiled at him even before he could close the door and Mafuyu wondered if his heart was ever going to stop trying to jump out of his chest when Yuki smiled at him. 

When he approached him, Mafuyu noticed right away three piercings on his left ear: two on the lower part and one on the upper part. The skin circling the piercings was red, proof of the fact that they were newly done.  
He couldn’t hide the surprise in his eyes, and his mouth was hanging open. 

“Good morning, Mafuyu.” He said sweetly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“You… that’s what the two of you were doing yesterday? Piercings?” He asked. He wasn’t mad, just surprised.

“Do you like them?” He grinned. 

Well, Mafuyu didn’t think it was possible for Yuki to become even more attractive than he already was, but he was proven wrong. He liked the piercings. He didn’t even know he liked them before seeing them on him. 

“I… Uhm, they’re not bad.” He said, trying not to look at him in the eyes. But Yuki’s grin was almost predatory when he leaned down to Mafuyu’s ear. 

“I made another one too, but it’s in a place that you’ll have to find out.” He whispered with a low voice and placed a quick kiss just under his ear. Mafuyu shuddered visibly at that. This time his blush was dark red and strangely enough, for once he was at a loss for words. 

“Let’s go, Hiiragi and Shizu are waiting for us in front of the station.” He said, taking his hand and breaking him out of his daydreams. He was sure he wasn’t going to stop thinking about where the 4th piercing could be for the whole day and something in his lower belly twitched hotly. 

———

When they arrived at school, everyone was looking at them and whispering. 

Somehow Hiiragi and Yuki seemed even cooler than before, and Mafuyu’s nose wrinkled in displeasure at the thought that his boyfriend was going to draw even more unwanted attention on himself. 

Shizu said goodbye to them and went towards his classroom, and when the other three got into theirs, their classmates surrounded Hiiragi and Yuki while Mafuyu quietly went to sit at his desk. They were joking and laughing loudly at the back of the room. Mafuyu observed the girls and he could see them whispering excitedly. 

At that moment he just wanted to tell them “He’s mine, don’t look at him.”, but he knew he couldn’t.

He clenched his fists and buried his head in a book, to keep out everything and everyone else. He was feeling even greedier than before and this put him in a bad mood. Why did he have to feel so insecure? Why couldn’t he tell everyone off when they tried to put their hands on his boyfriend? They were together now, right? 

The class started and everyone was finally quiet.  
Yuki looked at Mafuyu from behind and he could tell even without seeing his face that something was upsetting him. He knew that whatever it was, though, had to wait. 

———

Classes seemed incredibly long that day. Time went by so slowly that Yuki thought he was going crazy. He looked at Mafuyu the whole time, biting the pen nervously, while the other didn’t turn his way even once. 

Yuki tried to think about what he could have done, but nothing came to his mind. They had been okay that morning, until they got to school. Maybe it was about the piercings? Or because he had teased him? 

He wanted to talk to him, hug him and kiss him senseless. He didn’t want that weird atmosphere between them. They were past that. They were together now, so nothing had to be left unsaid. 

During the lunch break he tried to get Mafuyu out of his seat, but the other said he wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to leave the classroom. Hiiragi had joined Shizusumi on the rooftop after asking him and Mafuyu if they were going too, but leaving frustrated when the orange-haired boy had blatantly ignored him.  
Yuki was frustrated and worried at the same time. His instinct was to throw him over his shoulder kicking and screaming and make him talk, but he simply ended up dragging loudly his chair in front of his boyfriend’s desk. 

“Mafuyu…” he called while caressing his hair as the other seemed to be asleep with his head on the desk, his arm covering his face. He didn’t react to his name being called, but Yuki knew he wasn’t sleeping. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, not even thinking about giving up. “You can talk to me.” He assured him, still playing with his hair. 

“Ohi, Yoshida!” A guy shouted. “Come here with us! Satou is sleeping, what do you want to do, keep looking at him until lunch break is over?” 

Yuki clenched his fists and bit his tongue not to give some snarky remarks.  
Two classmates got close and forcefully lifted him from his chair, laughing friendly. 

“Come on, it must be the first time you stayed here in class for lunch break! We have to take advantage of it!”

Yuki looked at Mafuyu worriedly, but the other didn’t move. He just sighed and let himself be dragged away. 

Just for ten minutes, he hung out with those guys and a few girls in that group, always glancing towards the person he loved. The laughs were annoying, they were making his head hurt. And when he looked towards Mafuyu at that moment, he saw that the other was looking at him too; his eyes seemed sad and he couldn’t stand it anymore: he had promised himself that those eyes were never going to be like that because of him ever again.  
He made his way towards him but the bell rang again signaling the end of the break, and Mafuyu sat properly on the chair as the teacher got into the classroom, followed by a panting Hiiragi who came back just in time. 

“Everyone sit down, please.” He commanded. 

Yuki got in front of Mafuyu to take his chair back and looked at him seriously. 

“We’re going to talk about this later.” He declared, making Mafuyu’s eyes widen slightly. 

During the class, Hiiragi threw a piece of paper at him. Yuki opened it making sure he wasn’t seen by the teacher. 

_“What’s wrong with him?”_

Yuki sighed and looked at him in despair. He had no clue about it. 

Hiiragi rolled his eyes in response and turned to the teacher, trying to concentrate on the lesson. 

——

The day was finally over, so the students picked up their things and left the classroom quickly, eager to go away as soon as possible. 

Yuki didn’t leave his place, while Mafuyu got up to gather his things slowly. Hiiragi looked at both of them and sighed. 

“I’ll head out first. Shizu and I wanted to go to a new café near the subway station. We’ll be there if the two of you want to join us.” He declared tiredly before leaving, earning just a nod from Yuki in response. 

Mafuyu tried to get away too, but Yuki stopped him by holding his wrist and all his things fell on the floor. 

“Yu-” he started, but Yuki gently pushed him back towards his desk, almost making him sit on it. His hand was covering Mafuyu’s on the wooden surface. 

“Mafuyu… what’s wrong?” He asked. 

“It’s nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing, don’t lie to me. Did I do anything to upset you? You weren’t like this in the morning.” His tone was soft and understanding. He wasn’t accusing him; he just wanted to clear up whatever misunderstanding had surfaced. 

“I… I’m not enough for you.” Mafuyu whispered brokenly after a minute of silence. 

“What?” Yuki was dumbfounded. “Where is this coming from now?” 

“You are… You are so handsome and popular, always cheerful, friendly and kind. You can have so much more. People hang on your every word but wonder why you obstinate yourself to have me around. I’m just… not enough.” His voice was flat and he was looking down towards the floor.

Yuki couldn’t believe Mafuyu’s mouth had really spoken those words. He breathed deeply.

“You’re everything to me!” He declared, startling Mafuyu and catching his attention. “I’m this kind of person because I have you by my side. Because _you_ make me a better person.” He countered. 

“I’m not a good person!” Mafuyu retorted. “How can I make you a better person if I’m this greedy? Every time someone looks at you I want nothing more than shout to them that you’re mine! I hate the way the girls look at you, that everyone seems to want a piece of you. I just want you for myself!” He proclaimed raising his voice, almost as if he wanted to convince him that he really wasn’t good for him. 

Yuki’s eyes widened at the confession, his heart skipped a beat. He loved him so much, he couldn’t even put it into words. 

“I’m so glad.” Yuki replied, smiling widely and cupping his face, earning Mafuyu’s shocked expression. “I thought I was the only one feeing that way. Whenever someone looks at you, I would like nothing more than to hide you from the world.” 

“No one looks at me.” Mafuyu grunted, trying to hide the fact that his heart was painfully hammering against his chest. 

“You’re wrong: a lot of people look at you. And it drives me crazy. If you’re greedy, then I’m the most selfish person in the world. I want you for myself too, and you can be sure of one thing: I’m only yours.”

The only sound inside the classroom was the rustle of the wind coming through the open window. It was soothing and comforting.

Yuki closed the gap opening Mafuyu’s legs to settle between them and leaned down to kiss him. It wasn’t an innocent kiss: it was fiery, passionate and demanding; _greedy_, just like the two of them were towards each other. He pressed his tongue to the seam of Mafuyu’s lips asking for access, and when it was granted he delved into his mouth, not missing the needy whimper that escaped from his lips. 

They had completely forgotten that they were still at school and that anyone could walk on them. When Yuki opened his eyes for a moment, he saw Hiiragi standing frozen outside the classroom, but he didn’t care. He didn’t break the kiss. 

He gave him a territorial look, almost a glare.  
He was laying his claim on him saying _“He’s mine.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a soft spot for MafuYuki being all caught up in their own world and jealous over each other.  
Let me know what you guys think about this chapter and thank you for reading! ♥️


	5. Chapter 5

Shizusumi and Hiiragi were already outside the school when the latter realized he had forgotten his math’s notebook. 

“I’ll go get it quickly, Shizu-chan.” He declared while running back inside. 

The hallways were deserted and the sun was just setting; it was awfully silent and he wondered if Mafuyu and Yuki had already left and he had somehow missed them. 

He came to a dead end just in front of the door of the classroom, all sweaty and out of breath, where he witnessed something he definitely wasn’t expecting: his two childhood friends were passionately kissing.

Yuki had probably heard quick steps getting close and at the same moment Hiiragi stopped, he had opened his eyes while his lips were still busy kissing Mafuyu’s. 

If he had to be honest, it wasn’t the kiss that shocked him; he wasn’t blind and he honestly thought that it had taken them quite too long to figure out that they were in love with each other. 

The reason his eyes widened and a chill ran down his spine was because of the possessive, almost feral glare Yuki shot him. It took him a few moments to recover and snap out of it, and ultimately he decided that the notebook could stay there for that day and that he was going to take it tomorrow. 

As he mindlessly walked back towards the entrance where Shizu was waiting for him, he couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped from his throat.  
He felt a pang in his heart, but he didn’t know why. Was it because Yuki had looked at him as if he was an enemy? Or because those two hadn’t told him and Shizu anything about their relationship? Or was it because something else he just couldn’t detect himself? 

In any case, Hiiragi wasn’t going to meddle; it just wasn’t in his nature. 

He was happy for the two of them of course, it was undeniable that they were made for each other. But in that moment something heavy was sitting right in his chest. 

“Hiiragi!” Shizu called. 

Lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t even realized he was already outside. 

“Oh, Shizu-chan… I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” He admitted. 

He didn’t miss Shizusumi’s inquisitive look. When something was bothering him, the other could always see right through him. 

“Did you find your notebook?” He asked carefully. 

“I… I couldn’t find it.” He replied, his mind still a bit confused. 

“Shall we go look for it together?” Shizu proposed. 

“No! There’s no need to! I’ll look for it tomorrow, don’t worry.” He knew he had replied too quickly and hastily, and he was sure Shizusumi had caught on that something was off. 

He wondered what kind of expression the other was reading on his face, because as it always happened when he was distressed, Shizu got close and gently patted his head. 

Whatever snarky comment was in his mind to protect himself was lost in that familiar, comforting touch. There wasn’t an explanation for that, but Shizu was the only one who could understand him fully. 

“Let’s go then.” 

———

“Yuki…” Mafuyu panted, breaking the kiss. “We’re in the classroom.” 

“So what?” Yuki smiled, and Mafuyu could clearly see the younger him, the mischievous and adventurous 5 years old boy. But at the same time there was also the courageous, selfless little boy that took his hand and saved him from the pit of darkness in which he was drowning. “I don’t care if anyone sees us. I’m not ashamed of us and I don’t have anything to hide. You’re the best part of me, why should I try to hide it? How can I?” He asked, looking at him with earnest eyes and mindlessly playing with Mafuyu’s hair, moving some locks from his forehead. 

Mafuyu’s heart felt so full. He threw his arms around Yuki’s neck and pulled him again to himself, kissing him fully on the lips. 

“What happened to the _we are in the classroom_?” Yuki chuckled. 

“You.” 

“Me?” Yuki asked, raising a brow. 

“You’re too much. You make me forget things. And you’ve always been the only one who makes me feel like that. I think you’ll always be the only one.” Mafuyu smiled sweetly. Yuki blinked repeatedly, almost sunstruck. 

“Aaah.” He scowled, covering his face with his hands as if he was in pain. 

Mafuyu looked at him worriedly. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, trying to move Yuki’s hands to see his face. The other let him do it and a faint blush was tinting his cheeks. 

“You always take me off guard and make my heart skip a beat with your words. You didn’t say these things before, so I’m not used to hearing them. I didn’t think it was possible to love you even more than I already did, but it turns out that it is.” 

“Is it a bad thing?” Mafuyu pouted. “I’m not going to say anything anymore then.” He turned his face, pretending to be hurt and Yuki chuckled again. 

“It’s not a bad thing.” He replied while leaning down to kiss his neck. Mafuyu couldn’t hide the whimper and goosebumps that the contact of those lips on his skin provoked. His right hand unconsciously went up to Yuki’s hair and curled into his ash-blond locks. “It’s just dangerous.” 

“How come?” He asked as Yuki licked a spot just under his ear and sucked on the fair skin, drawing a shuddering breath out of him. 

“Because I don’t know if you’re aware of how much you drive me crazy or if you do it unconsciously.” His voice was husky and muffled, since his mouth was busy with the ministrations on his neck. “Either way, you’re the most dangerous person to me, because I love you too much. I’m entrusting you with my heart.” he chuckled as he rose with butterfly kisses until he reached Mafuyu’s mouth again. 

Mafuyu’s heart throbbed in his chest and a weak moan escaped from his lips. The sound made Yuki distance himself to have a better look at his boyfriend. He could tell he was aroused; his cheeks were pink and his tousled hair, added to the sexy look he had on his face, almost made him lose his mind. He was just too tempting and he probably wasn’t even aware of it. 

_“Dangerous…”_ he whispered cupping his cheek with his right hand. “What am I supposed to do if you look at me like that?” He asked almost desperately. 

“Yuki…” 

Suddenly, they heard quick steps and Yuki helped Mafuyu to stand up from the desk just in time for someone to appear in front of the door. The janitor was taken aback in finding them there, his mouth was hanging open in surprise. 

“What are the two of you doing here? It’s been 30 minutes since the classes are over.” 

“Oh, we forgot a book and we were just leaving.” Yuki was trying to hide Mafuyu from his sight. He really didn’t want anyone to see him with the expression he had a few minutes earlier. The other boy realized his things were still discarded on the floor and he kneeled down to collect them. 

“Okay, take the book and leave then. It's too late already.” 

“Thank you, Sir.” He replied while taking Mafuyu’s hand and leading him towards Hiiragi’s desk to retrieve the notebook the other had left there. 

They bowed in apology as they left the room, feeling the man’s eyes on them until they disappeared behind another part of the hallway. 

“I told you that they could see us!” Mafuyu scolded. 

“Wasn’t it a turn on?” The other grinned, earning a slap on his arm.

“Is that Hiiragi’s notebook?” He asked, eyeing the object he was holding. 

“Yup, I noticed he forgot it. Let’s join them at the new café he was talking about and give it to him.” He replied. Actually when he saw Hiiragi earlier, he guessed he had come back because he had forgotten something. 

Hiiragi now knew about them and Yuki wondered how the other was going to react. He felt a bit bad for having glared at him, but it was an unconscious reaction. And it could have been Hiiragi, Shizu or anyone else; at that moment he just felt by pure instinct to “declare” that Mafuyu was his only. But truth to be told, more than once the relationship between Mafuyu and Hiiragi made him think that the latter might have feelings for his boyfriend. Or maybe it was just his jealousy talking. 

He felt Mafuyu squeezing his hand. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked him. 

“Nothing much… I wonder if we should tell the others about us.” 

Mafuyu looked up at the sky, like he did when he was seriously pondering about something. 

“I don’t know. I… for awhile I would like for it to be just between the two of us. I just… want you all for myself and live our relationship freely for awhile.” He explained simply. 

Yuki smiled at those words. 

“Do you think I’m selfish?” He asked then, since Yuki hadn’t said anything. 

“Not at all. It’s just that the fact that we think the same things never ceases to amaze me.” He smiled. 

———

The next day at school, Yuki couldn’t help but think about Hiiragi’s behavior when they had arrived at the café the previous evening: it was as if nothing had happened. He wasn’t acting awkward or anything and he wondered if he had really been there or if he had just imagined it.

He knew that his friend never meddled, it was just the way he was. He never had to pretend in front of him, he knew he was always there if they needed him. So he appreciated the fact that he wasn’t pushing for any explanation or acting disgusted by the scene he had witnessed. But he didn’t miss Shizu’ suspicious face when he handed Hiiragi the notebook, and the way the latter fidgeted under Shizu’ stare.

When the bell rang, Yuki got up from his seat and went to Mafuyu.

“Let’s go to the rooftop to eat.” He told him, caressing his hair. 

Mafuyu looked up at him and mumbled a “yes”.  
When he got up, he took his hand and headed out of the classroom, unconcerned about the stares and the whispers around them. It was nothing new anyway, it’s not like it was the first time. But people couldn’t get used to that overwhelming intimacy between the two boys. 

“Hiiragi, we’ll wait for you upstairs!” Yuki declared before leaving. 

The other could only nod in response and sigh. The girls seemed confused and jealous of that public display of affection, and some of the guys had strange reactions too. 

Even if it didn’t seem like it since he was a lively person, Hiiragi was observant of his surroundings. It was a different kind of observation from Shizu and Mafuyu’s, who were introverts, but already before he had caught them kissing, he had felt something was different between his two childhood friends; something had shifted in their dynamics since the day Yuki had dashed out from school to go to Mafuyu. 

He had also felt it when he went to make the piercings with Yuki. The way he talked about Mafuyu was even sweeter than before. There was just something his eyes couldn’t conceal. 

He was mindlessly walking through the cafeteria, and after buying his lunch, he headed to the rooftop to join his friends. 

He opened the door and found them already there, sitting on the ground. Shizu was reading a book and mindlessly eating his chips; Mafuyu was playing with his Nintendo and humming a melody he had never heard before and Yuki… Yuki’s eyes were glued to him. He had a silly, adoring smile plastered on his face and Hiiragi wondered if his friend was aware about how transparent his feelings for Mafuyu were. He really couldn’t hide the love in his expression, and for a moment, Hiiragi was left breathless by the intensity of it. 

The four of them had always been in their little world and spent their whole childhood together. Nothing, beside his family, was more important than them to him. He had always known that there was something more than simple friendship between Yuki and Mafuyu. He had witnessed them growing up and doing everything together, as if inside the world of the four of them there was another small one made to measure just for those two. 

It’s not that they did that on purpose: they didn’t mean to exclude him and Shizu. There was just a special gravity around them, as if they were naturally drawn together by an invisible force. They were a perfect fit in all their differences, completing each other as if it was nothing but natural for them. 

Hiiragi sat between Shizu and Yuki and unwrapped his yakisoba sandwich. 

“Does it still hurt?” Shizu asked, somehow breaking the spell of Mafuyu’s song. 

“Uh?” Hiiragi was flustered to notice that Shizu was looking at him attentively. 

“Your ear… your skin is still red.” 

He felt Mafuyu’s eyes shifting between the two of them, the corner of his lips quirking up in a small smile. 

“Oh, it hurts a bit but it’s okay! Last night was worse.” 

“I see. That’s good then.” He looked at him for a brief moment before immersing himself once again in the book he was reading. A flush crept up Hiiragi’s face and he stuffed his mouth with the sandwich. 

The weather was nice that day: even though it was winter, the sun was keeping it somehow warm. 

When silence dawned again over them, the sweet melody started again. It seemed that Mafuyu didn’t do that consciously, but it certainly was spellbinding. Hiiragi found himself drawn to it too, curious to hear more of it. 

At Mafuyu’s side, Yuki’s heart was hammering in his chest: it was as if he was bewitched. That melodious, sweet voice was striking cords he didn’t even know were hidden inside of him. 

That winter day seemed even too sunny; the light Mafuyu was radiating was simply blinding and it took his breath away once again. 

Yuki could feel the notes spreading through his body like a streak of lightning, and suddenly a new fire ignited in his heart, burning relentlessly and fiercely.  
For the first time, he thought he had grasped the real meaning of the word _muse_ he had read countless times about.  
It was something he didn’t think possible: a purpose. In a moment, he decided that he was going to buy a guitar and learn to play it, because he wanted to write and compose that song for Mafuyu himself. 

He wanted to sing it for him. 

And he was going to make it happen, _ definitely._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Shizuragi moments and Yuki’s new goal.  
What did you think about this chapter?  
Let me know about it in the comments! ♥️


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mafuyu and Shizu hang out together and someone Mafuyu thought and hoped was out of his life forever, forcefully makes an appearance back in his life digging out his childhood trauma once again.

“So you want to get a part-time job?” Mafuyu asked Yuki one afternoon while they were sitting on the swings in the park near their house, eating the delicious takoyaki they bought on their way from school at their usual, favorite place. 

Fan-shaped ginkgo leaves were falling around them, in the very same park where they spent their childhood together, where they first met and where Yuki took Mafuyu’s hand and swore he was going to protect him. 

Looking up at the clear November sky, Mafuyu remembered how, back then when they were children, they seemed to want to reach it with their swings. Yuki always used to stand on his feet on the swing, his small knees flexing as he oscillated on it to gain speed. It didn’t matter how many times he fell, Mafuyu had never seen him crying. The first time it happened he simply sat on the wet grass, sporting a disappointed expression because he hadn’t been able to land on the ground without hurting himself, but Mafuyu had rushed to him to blow on his bruised skin to make the pain go away. 

_“If I blow on it, the pain is going to disappear.” He assured him. “Mom always did it for me when...” He abruptly stopped, his eyes suddenly alert and wary.  
Yuki could feel the rage building up inside of him at those words and at the painful memories he was sure they had provoked the other boy, so his small fists couldn’t help but automatically clench and his eyes darkened for just a small moment, before relaxing and smiling. He didn’t want to see Mafuyu sad.  
“Wowww Mafuyu ~ you must have superpowers! It really doesn’t hurt anymore!” He exclaimed in amazement. Surely enough, Mafuyu’s eyes glinted with happiness and hope at his words, because apparently he had done something amazing for his best friend._

_“I’m not afraid to fall if Mafuyu is here to heal me with his superpowers.” The other had said with a big smile, so Mafuyu just knew for sure that it was going to happen again. When he went home later that day, with his heart still full from the feeling of being needed, he decided to always keep some band-aids in his pocket so that the next time he could heal the other’s bruised knees with his magic powers first, and then put one on it later._

Yuki’s reckless and stubborn personality was one of the things he loved and feared the most about him: he admired the fact that the other was passionate about everything he did, but scared that he might get hurt while trying to pursue his goals. Because Yuki always tried to hide his pain behind a beautiful smile, and he was extremely good at it. He didn’t want people to worry about him, especially Mafuyu; it was his way to protect him. But Mafuyu wanted to protect him too.

“Yes, I want to buy a guitar!” Yuki replied waking him up from his memories, as he turned towards him and gave him one of his blinding smiles, eyes sparkling. Mafuyu found himself drawn to those eyes as always, his expression softened as he picked a takoyaki with his toothpick and, since it was still steaming hot, he blew on it a bit. He then offered it to Yuki, and for a moment the blond teenager was taken aback by the sweet, endearing gesture. 

“You don’t want it? I’m going to eat it then!” Mafuyu pouted when he realized that Yuki wasn’t going to eat it, so he took the toothpick back towards his own mouth. 

“No, no! I want it!” Yuki closed his hand around Mafuyu’s to prevent him from eating the steamy takoyaki and leaned down to close his lips around it. It was still as hot as it seemed and his mouth was burning, but he endured it because it was worth it. 

Mafuyu rolled his eyes at Yuki’s antics and wordlessly handed him his bottle of water, which the latter gladly accepted. 

“Ahh, my Mafuyu is so sweet. I’m so lucky!” he marveled after drinking half of the water inside the bottle, giving him a lopsided grin. His eyes were so full of love and adoration that Mafuyu was absolutely sure his heart was going to burst from beating so fast. 

“S-shut up.” he replied as a flush crept up his face. He stabbed another takoyaki and stuffed his mouth with it. Yuki chuckled at the sight: he seemed like a cute squirrel.

“So what are you going to do? Will you take classes?” Mafuyu asked then.

“Yes, I think I’ll start to learn the basics at the music club. Since I’ll have to wait until we’re in high school before getting a part-time job, that will have to do for now.” Yuki explained. 

“Mmm, I see.” 

“Hiiragi says he wants to try it too,” he added. “for now it will be something simple, and twice a week.” 

“Oh, Hiiragi too? Guess I’ll just hang out with Shizu-chan then, since you won’t have time for me anymore.” Mafuyu jokingly sulked - or maybe not too jokingly - but Yuki grabbed the rope of the other’s swing and pulled it towards his own, meeting him in the middle and startling him with the sudden movement. 

“I’ll always have time for you, nothing will change.” he cupped his face with his hands and declared with sincere eyes. He then leaned in and swiped his tongue on Mafuyu’s lips, savoring the lingering, rich taste of takoyaki before claiming his lips in a soft kiss. 

It was a brief kiss, mindful of their surroundings, and maybe it was the very fact that Yuki wasn’t afraid that someone would see them that made his heart tremble that much.

“Okay, I’ll believe you for now.” Mafuyu replied sweetly, grinning and squeezing Yuki’s hand. “Let’s go home.” 

\-------

It was now the beginning of February during their last term of junior high school, and even a blind person could notice that Mafuyu and Yuki were even closer than before. No one thought it was actually possible, since the two of them had always been under the spotlight for their intimate friendship. Not to mention that Yuki was tenfold more protective of his boyfriend and he glared at literally anyone who came too close to him, boys and girls alike. 

It had been 3 months since they had confessed their feelings for each other and since Yuki and Hiiragi had started to go to the music club to learn how to play the guitar. 

Even though Yuki and Mafuyu hadn’t told their two childhood friends that they were together, Shizu and Hiiragi weren’t oblivious nor angry about it.  
They knew that it wasn’t as if they were hiding it from them: they perceived it as something natural that had no need to be confirmed, and they even thought that it had taken them way too long to get to that point. Because in the end, every step they took was part of that little world they had started to build when they were just children. It was innocent and pure, and it didn’t need any explanation. 

It was as if it was just perfectly right for them to be together and they couldn’t actually imagine a scenario where it didn’t happen. 

_Soulmates._

Shizusumi was sure that if he hadn’t actually witnessed the two of them growing up together, he would have made fun of anyone who used that word in real life.

But it was the perfect word to describe them, because there was something deeply spiritual about them; the way they fell into another so naturally that it was as if their love had been marked with fire in the depths of the earth; the way they completed each other with every movement, gravitating one towards the other effortlessly. It was as if the universe itself had actually fought for them to be together; the kind of selfless and unconditional love that, no matter the circumstances, was meant to persist and go forward.  
It was written all over their faces that they were deeply in love with each other, and sometimes they seemed to forget that they were around other people. 

They both had light and darkness inside of them, and the light was actually the one they had poured over the other’s darkness. 

“Shizu-chan…” Mafuyu whispered to Shizusumi in the library, waking him from his thoughts. He looked around himself in a daze for a moment, taking in his surroundings, the soothing scent of books and the noise of pens scribbling down on paper flooded his senses. 

“Mm?” He mumbled, focusing on Mafuyu.

“Are you okay, Shizu-chan? You have been spacing out for a bit…” Mafuyu stated, his voice coated with a hint of worry. 

While Yuki and Hiiragi could be easily described as two tornadoes when they were together, making everything so extremely chaotic that you could be sure that it meant trouble, Mafuyu and Shizu’s friendship was easy and quiet. Amidst the commotion the other two created, they were there to balance them and get them back in line. So when it was just the two of them, the quietness was most welcomed. They were always able to stay in a comfortable silence, just enjoying the company of the other without the pressure of small talk. They were also very straightforward with their words, they didn’t need to filter them or walk on eggshells. Also, they both were scarily observant, as if you couldn’t hide anything from them. 

“I’m okay.” The raven-haired boy replied. 

“Mmm, are you sad because Hiiragi isn’t here?” Mafuyu teased and gave him a knowing look. 

They stared at each other for a few seconds and in the end Shizu gave him a small smile. 

“What about you? Sad cause Yuki is busy these days?” 

“Touché, Shizu-chan. No need to get all defensive with me, you know I wouldn’t say anything to anyone.” Mafuyu chuckled. “I’m not sad by the way; if that’s what he wants to do, I’m happy for him. Also, it’s not like I don’t see him everyday.” He stated simply, and Shizu hummed thoughtfully. 

The fact that Shizusumi was aware of their relationship wasn’t surprising to Mafuyu. Hiiragi probably knew about it too. They had all known each other for so long that any explanation was wasted, and he was grateful that both him and Yuki had been lucky enough to have them as friends. 

“Why don’t you tell him?” Mafuyu asked then, as direct as anyone could be. Shizu wasn’t shaken though, it was just normal for them to go straight to the point. 

“Mmm, I don’t think he feels the same way as I do, so there’s no point in telling him; it would only destroy our friendship and I don’t want that.” His usually stoic expression cracked for a split second, and Mafuyu didn’t miss it. 

“But…” 

“Don’t compare the two things, Mafuyu. The premise is different.” He interrupted him. “I’m happy just by being able to stay by his side. If this can assure me that we’ll be together every day, then I’m more than okay with it.”

Mafuyu recognized Shizu’s tone and he knew it was better to let go for now. 

“Okay, Shizu-chan. That’s your choice and I respect it. What matters the most to me is that you’re happy.” He concluded. 

“Thanks.” 

The conversation was comfortably dropped and they focused on their homework for a few more hours, until both of their phones beeped at the same time. 

_“I’m going to be late today, practice is taking longer than we expected. You should start to head home with Shizu. I’ll stop by your place later if you want, we could watch a movie together.”_

He looked at Shizu and he knew he had gotten a message from Hiiragi similar to his own. Without saying a word, they both started to gather their things and slowly left the library. 

Outside the sun had already set, the streets of their neighborhood in Tokyo were already dark, only illuminated by the streetlights.

“Is your mom still out of the town for work?” Shizu asked. 

“Yes, she should come back tomorrow. She’s always so busy!” Mafuyu chuckled. 

“That’s nice, the relationship the two of you have.” 

Mafuyu looked at his friend with a bittersweet smile. He knew that as a foster child, Shizu had gone through a lot of hardships. It wasn’t that his adoptive parents didn’t love him, but there was some kind of wall between them that prevented him from fully trusting them. 

When they met him for the first time, Mafuyu had seen a lot of similarities between himself and Shizu and he had actually been the first to approach him. Since he was extremely quiet and didn’t talk to anyone, the other kids were kind of ticked off by it and they had tried to bully him the very same day he was introduced to the class. 

Mafuyu saw the scene from afar and his small fists clenched in anger, so he sat next to the new boy in silence and glared at the other kids, somehow chasing them away. They both heard that they had called them “the two weirdos” before walking away, but they simply looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders before starting to play together in silence. They didn’t even exchange names at that moment; they were just content by being in each other’s company. It was that easy. 

Soon after, Yuki and Hiiragi had joined them and the quietness was washed away, bringing laughs and wonder to the equation, and if Mafuyu had been the first one to approach him, Hiiragi had been the first one to take his hand. From that moment, the four of them had been inseparable. 

“You are always welcomed at our house, Shizu-chan. Don’t forget that, okay?” Mafuyu said as they stopped in front of Shizu’s house. His friend nodded at that and waved to him. 

The salmon-pink haired boy shivered in the cold evening, tightening his scarf a bit more around his neck and covering his freezing lips with it. He quickened his steps, wanting to get home as soon as possible and find the warmth of his kotatsu. 

The lights in both his and Yuki’s house were out, so Mafuyu guessed that Saeko-san was out of town too. Only the sound of the water running through the stream in front of the house and the shuffle of the wind through the trees could be heard. He didn’t know why, but he felt a chill running through his spine and hurried towards the door while ruffling inside his bag for the keys. Once he finally found them and inserted them on the door, the door just shifted open without him even turning them. His eyes widened in surprise: had he left it open that morning? It didn’t seem as if it had been forced open. He was holding his phone tightly, a bad feeling suddenly downing on him. 

He carefully stepped inside the house and took off his shoes. With every move he made, he grew more and more terrified. Everything was unnaturally silent and there was just darkness inside the house.

Just as he was finally approaching the light switch, a light in the living room switched on showing someone sitting on the armchair, a sickening smile on his face. 

Mafuyu’s thoughts were accelerating inside his head and he wanted nothing more but to slow them down so that he could breathe, but in vain. He felt sick; his heart was hammering inside his chest and the room was spinning around him, threatening to swallow him whole. He couldn’t move.

“Dad is home, Mafuyu. Did you miss me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers,  
I was finally able to get back to this fic, hoping there’s still someone who wants to read it! 
> 
> I hope you’ll like this chapter, even if the end was a bit angsty. :( Let me know what you think about it in the comments, please!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be mindful of the tags, please!  
[TW] This chapter contains sensitive topics such as past child abuse (not graphic/sexual) light violence and homophobia.

In his head, the unwanted memories started flooding back like water rushing into a sinking ship: a child waking up to the voice of a man yelling and the sound of glass shattering on the floor, a woman screaming and him rushing to hide inside the closet with his knees pressed to his chest and tiny hands covering his own ears. Ugly, dark shadows of the past were mercilessly surrounding and suffocating him: the raw fear he felt when the closet opened and a hand grabbed his arm - or sometimes even his hair - to drag him out of it; the back of a hand across his face, his mother crying out for the man to stop and the way she always attempted to protect him, shielding him with her own body. 

_“Don’t touch Mafuyu! He didn’t do anything wrong!”_ she yelled, holding him close to her chest and making the man even angrier because of what he called her “lack of respect”. 

When the monster finally got bored of hitting them - or when the alcohol had finally made him fall asleep - his mother used to lie with him in his bed, holding him tightly and crying. 

_“Mom is sorry, baby. I’m so sorry I’m weak and I can’t protect you.”_ She apologized, heartbrokenly. At that, Mafuyu had rested his tiny hand on her cheek, reassuringly. 

_“I’ll be a good boy, mommy. I’ll protect you.”_ He had tried to comfort her, and she had cried even more desperately at his words. 

Mafuyu could remember that he had stopped shedding tears after his mom had told him those words: he had become numb to everything around him. He had to, if he wanted to survive, and it came with a high price: his world became black and white; it had lost all its colors. Empty eyes, devoid of any emotions: it was his self-defense mechanism.

Sometimes - when his mom was at work and he was lucky enough that his father had fallen asleep after drinking - he used to run to the park and sit on the grass with his back against the furthest tree with his knees pulled to his chest, and stayed hidden behind the bushes circling the tree for as long as he could. It was his safe place and the only one where he felt like he could actually breathe; where the sound of the nature around him actually managed to make him feel less lonely. Sometimes he wished he could just disappear, or to be like the small ants that he watched climbing the tree he was leaning against. And at some point, he had almost forgotten how to talk; he wasn’t used to it anymore because when he did, his father hated it and became even more violent. That was until Yuki had found him, and his world had slowly started to regain its colors. Next to him, he felt as if he was actually _really_ seeing the world for the first time. 

Coming back to his senses in the darkness of his house, he saw the person on the armchair standing up and taking a step towards him, automatically making Mafuyu take one step back.

“Aren’t you happy to see me, boy? It’s been such a long time.” He said with a dark inclination. Mafuyu shivered at that; his shaky legs gave out and made him fall on his knees on the hard surface of the tatami floor. He felt paralyzed and nausea was coiling in his stomach, bile rising in his throat and hands sweating. It was as if, slowly, he was losing the ability to breathe. Panic was consuming him.

“You’re as useless as always. During these ten years that worthless woman couldn’t even raise you well.” He gripped Mafuyu’s chin mockingly, and the boy’s fists clenched painfully, his nails going deep through his skin, drawing blood. 

“Don’t you dare speak about mom like that!” He gritted his teeth and shove the man’s hand off his chin, but a strong push made his head bang against the kitchen counter behind him. He groaned in pain and unmistakable fear could be easily read in his eyes, and this made his father feel even more invincible. 

“Now now, that’s not the way to speak to your dad, right Mafuyu?” He asked with a mocking tone again. “It seems like you conveniently forgot about the precious time we spent together, so I should remind you…” His expression was suddenly serious, eyes dark. Even though during the past years he only saw that expression in his nightmares, he knew far too well what it was the prelude of. 

His father was twice his size, so Mafuyu knew he had no chance against him. It was a strange contradiction, because he could hear the child inside of him telling him to just curl on himself and shut everything out, but at the same time a small part of him didn’t want to give up. With trembling legs, he stood up and grabbed the wooden rolling pin on the counter, holding it between their bodies as if to defend himself. 

“What do you want to do with that thing, kid?” His father laughed, easily wrenching the tool from his hands. “I’m sad your mother is not here, I wanted to have fun with her too. And after you’ll have re-learned your place I should go visit the kind neighbors that helped you to make me rot in jail for 10 years.” He added with a knowing glint in his eyes. 

“Leave them all alone!” He shouted, driven from a silent rage and raw fear inside of him, and closed the distance to bravely push his father with all his strength. 

“Oh oh, what do we have here? It seems like you are worried for your little boyfriend.” He said, and Mafuyu’s blood ran cold. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s just a friend.” He hoped his voice wasn’t shaking. 

“Is he now?” He smirked. “You are probably not aware of how disgustingly easy it is to understand what you are thinking. All of this happened because you didn’t have me to keep you on the right path.” He stated, his expression hardening while he was approaching Mafuyu once again. “And I’m going to remind you which one it is.” 

His arm went backwards to get leverage in order to hit him hard, and Mafuyu closed his eyes waiting for the contact, but the pain never arrived. Instead, he heard a pained groan and the sound of the fist colliding with something that wasn’t his face. 

He opened his eyes and a flash of blond hair was right in front of him; a tall figure he knew by heart was between him and his father now, his arms shielding him as if he was putting his life in line. He recoiled and his legs faltered after being hit, but he stood his ground nevertheless. Mafuyu’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth in shock, his legs gave out once more and he hated himself for how weak and helpless he felt.

“Yuki…” 

“Mafuyu, are you alright?” His jaw was clenched, and Mafuyu recalled the very same scene of the brave 5 years old boy that put himself between him and his father all those years earlier. And when his father was finally being taken away, the boy had squeezed his hand protectively. If at that time Yuki’s glare towards the man had been unforgiving, this was probably the first time Mafuyu had seen him blinded with silent rage. 

“What a déjà-vu! So you came here to save your little boyfriend once again? You’re always standing in my way, kid.” His father laughed, disgust clear in his voice. Mafuyu flinched, but Yuki didn’t deny his words.

“Mafuyu!” Yuki prompted him again. He couldn’t take his eyes off the enemy, but he wanted to be sure the other was okay. 

“I… I’m okay, Yuki. I promise.” He replied at last, his voice just a tired whisper but clear enough so that his boyfriend could catch his words. Yuki’s shoulders relaxed a bit upon hearing that.

“That’s right, the hero came right in time. Don’t worry, I only pushed him a bit for now.” He taunted with a sickening smile, and Yuki’s fists clenched in rage.

“Don’t you dare to lay your dirty hands on him _ever_ again.” Yuki warned him through his teeth, and Mafuyu could hear his voice slightly trembling. He couldn’t see his face anymore from where he was, but his school uniform was crumpled and he could detect the shortness of breath he was trying to hide, as if he had been running as fast as he could to get there. Mafuyu’s eyes watered in a second. 

“Am I supposed to be scared of you, boy?” He mocked. “You’re exactly where I want you to be. Actually, I’m thankful. You just saved me the trouble of coming to look for you.” Suddenly, he took out a knife from his back pocket and wielded it towards the blond teenager. Mafuyu tried to get back on his feet, but his treacherous legs didn’t let him. Yuki stepped back, his arms still stretched in a protective stance, no matter the danger he was in. 

“Yuki…” Mafuyu whispered, and his voice cracked. “Please, just go.” He pleaded. 

Yuki slightly turned his face, and Mafuyu could only see his profile in the dim light of the kitchen; the corner of his bruised lips quirked up in what seemed a small smile. 

“I’m not leaving you.” He stated, firmly. 

“Why are you always so stubborn?” 

“I won’t let anything happen to you. I promised, remember?” His voice was so soft and so full of love and devotion that Mafuyu felt as if someone was squeezing his heart with bare hands.

“It was just a stupid promise between kids!” He countered, raising his voice in frustration and urgency. Yuki knew that his boyfriend wanted to protect him just like _he_ wanted to protect him, so he didn’t take his words to heart. 

“Mafuyu… Everything will be alright.” He assured confidently, turning his attention back to the person in front of him. And Mafuyu wanted to believe him, but he was so scared to lose the person in front of him: his best friend, his lover, his rock.  
He didn’t even want to imagine a world without him. He couldn’t. Just the thought physically hurt and it knocked the air out of him for a moment. 

He knew that, even if it was something he said while they were just children, that promise meant the world to Yuki and that he wasn’t the kind of person that went back on his own words. But he wanted to protect Yuki too; he wished the other wasn’t so fucking courageous all the time. He wanted him to run away, even if it meant to face his trauma all alone once again, after all this time.  
But Yuki didn’t run away. 

His father was watching the scene in front of him in both amusement and extreme disgust, his fingers clenched around the handle of the knife and the gesture terrified him. 

“Father, let him go, please.” He pleaded with a trembling voice. “It was my fault. Yuki didn’t do anything.” 

“Mafuyu.” Yuki admonished him, and the man in front of them started to laugh maniacally. 

“He didn’t do anything?? If it wasn’t for your little boyfriend here, I wouldn’t have spent 10 years of my life in prison. And everything happened because you dared to talk to him back then, even though I had taught you better. And even worse, I come back after all this time and I see that my son became a faggot!” He spat in disgust and finally lunged at Yuki with the knife, but the blond managed to dodge it with just a scratch in his arm cutting through his rumpled school uniform. He heard Mafuyu scream in fear in the background, but he managed to twist the arm holding the knife behind the man’s back, eventually making it hit the ground with a dull thud. The man struggled to break free as he heard the police sirens getting close, but Yuki had a firm hold on him. 

The police broke in through the front door that Yuki had found ajar when he arrived, and that he purposely left slightly open in turn so that the police would have no problems getting in. The teenager let out a breath of relief when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, silently telling him that he could let go now. 

“You did well, kid.” The policeman told him, as he patted his shoulder. 

“You fucking kids!” Mafuyu’s father cursed as they were taking him outside. “It’s not over! I’ll come back for you again!” He threatened, shouting. 

Another man helped Mafuyu to stand up, and Yuki smiled as he noticed the other stumbling towards him, so he opened his arms to welcome him in a strong embrace. But instead, once close to him, his boyfriend started to hit his chest with his small fists.

“Why did you do that?! Why did you come?!” He yelled at him; the hands weakly colliding with his chest were trembling and Yuki let him hit him to his heart’s content.

“Hey, kid, can’t you see he’s hurt? What are you-” The policeman next to them said, before Yuki stopped him with a gesture that meant that it was okay. 

He then sweetly closed his hands around Mafuyu’s wrists and stopped him, making him rest his hands on his chest as he started to let out shaky breaths. His fingers curled into the material of Yuki’ shirt and his big eyes were incredibly sad, guilty and full of unshed tears, and Yuki felt his heart throbbing at the sight: it was more painful than whatever physical wound anyone could inflict him. He let go of the other’s wrists and wrapped his arms around the shaking body, pulling him to his chest and rubbing his nape soothingly. 

“It’s okay... We’re okay.” He comforted him. 

“You’re not okay!” The other countered, the anger in his voice still evident. 

“It’s just a few scratches, they don’t even hurt!” He reassured him. Mafuyu didn’t buy it for a second though, and to prove his point he poked at the bruise on his lips, drawing out a hiss from Yuki’s mouth. That earned him a glare from his boyfriend, and Yuki couldn’t help the small smile that inevitably formed on his lips. 

“Okay, they hurt a bit. But we’re safe and that’s all that matters. _You_ are safe.” He stroked his hair sweetly and Mafuyu rested his head on his chest, focusing on Yuki’s heartbeat and his soothing voice.

The policeman looked somehow amused at the scene he had just witnessed. He could feel the deep bond between the two teenagers, something that even in more mature couples you can’t see everyday. The devotion on the blond boy’s expression was unmistakable.

“The ambulance is outside, kids. Let’s get you treated.” He told them. 

“There’s no need to go to the hospital, at least for me.” Yuki said, and Mafuyu glared at him before nodding in turn, as if to say that he didn’t want to go either but he certainly thought the other had to. 

“We’ll see about that. Let’s hear what the paramedics say first.” He said leading them outside. 

Once at the ambulance, Yuki helped Mafuyu to sit down and put a cover on his shoulders to warm him up a bit on the cold night, even though he knew that the cold he was feeling wasn’t just because of the low temperature. The paramedic approached Yuki, but the blond told him to check on Mafuyu first because when he had touched his nape earlier, he felt a slight bulge. The guy asked Mafuyu a few questions and ran a quick checkup on him, and as expected he had a slight concussion. It didn’t seem anything severe but if some of the symptoms he had listed appeared during the next few days, he definitely had to go to the hospital for a CT scan or an MRI.  
After that, it was Yuki’s turn to get his injuries treated and thankfully the paramedic didn’t consider the wound deep enough to get stitches, so he disinfected both the one his arm and the one on the corner of his lips, making him flinch slightly, and put some bandages on them. When Yuki chanced a look towards Mafuyu, he could see the self-loathe in his eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to wash away the dark shadows threatening to cloud his eyes.

When they came to collect both of their statements, Yuki explained that he had received a call from Mafuyu’s phone just as he had dropped Hiiragi off at his house, and after a brief moment of confusion, he immediately realized what was happening. Mafuyu had stared at him in horror because apparently he had accidentally pressed the speed dial number. Even though he didn't want to close the call, Yuki knew he had to call the police, so he ran as fast as he could while calling them.

They then talked to their moms on the phone, assuring them that they were fine and that they were going to stay together at Yuki’s house that night, since they didn’t want to be alone and neither of the two women could come back home until the next morning. When Mafuyu handed Yuki his phone, Mashiro Satou was crying: she apologized to him a hundred times, no matter how many Yuki told her not to apologize in turn. And the boy knew she was going to call his mom to do the same thing in the exact moment they were going to hang up the call. He knew she was going to blame herself for the rest of her life, and Yuki hoped his mom could help her and reassure her. 

The police explained to all of them that Mafuyu’s father had violated his probation, and that he was going straight back to prison, adding other charges that will make him stay there for another 10 years at least.

The police escorted them to Yuki’s house, asking if they needed anything before leaving, which they politely refused. Once they closed the door behind them, Yuki took Mafuyu’s hand and led him to the bathroom. He made him sit on the stool while he started to fill the bathtub with hot water and a relaxing lavender scented foam. They stood there in silence for a bit, only the noise of running water could be heard in the room. 

Once the tub was filled, Yuki turned the tap off and went to Mafuyu, kneeling in front of him and taking his hands in his own. They were freezing cold and still clenched in fists and despite an initial resistance, Mafuyu let him open them slowly. He wordlessly reached the first aid kit and disinfected them with extreme care, as if he was expecting to see the scratches his nails had made. 

“Hey…” He whispered sweetly once he was done, looking at him and feeling his heart sinking at the emptiness he saw in his eyes. He knew he couldn’t leave him like that, and the water was going to get cold by the second. 

“It’s all my fault.” He said, his voice cracking as he finally broke the silence. 

“If what happened is anyone’s fault, then it’s that bastard’s. Not yours.” He told him, clenching his fists.

“When I was a child, the only thing I could do was hide and run away, but now… I should have been able to do something.” He took a shaky breath and looked down at his trembling hands. “I shouldn’t have been this useless and helpless anymore. I’m so tired of putting the people I love in danger and hide behind them. I hate it.” He murmured. 

“Hey, listen to me. There’s nothing shameful in what happened to you, okay? You were brave: you stood up to him even though you were scared. And I’m so proud of you.”

“Brave? I’m just a coward and because of that you could have been seriously hurt, or worse…” 

“Mafuyu… Being brave doesn’t mean that you can’t be afraid. It means that there was something more powerful than your fear, and that you refused to surrender to it because there was something more important than that, something you wanted to protect. You _ faced _ that fear.” 

“But you-” 

“And you know? You don’t have to face it alone.” Yuki interrupted him. “No matter how hard or painful it is, we can be brave together.” He kissed the palms of his injured hands and his voice was both so stern and tender that Mafuyu wanted to cry. Because Yuki had always been there to keep him from falling apart, through his whole life. He had picked up all the pieces, even those he thought gone forever, and he had put them back in place, slowly but surely.  
He had always been spontaneous and impulsive, passionate and unperturbed. And yet, somewhere inside of him, there was loneliness. Cause even though from the outside he seemed the sun personified, Mafuyu knew better than anyone else that Yuki had his own demons to fight. Just like him, he had a difficult time expressing deeper emotions, because he thought he had to be able to work through things himself. But differently from him, he always put a smile on his face to hide what he was feeling. Only when it came to him, Yuki wore his own heart on his sleeve.  
And it made his heart ache, because he wished Yuki would confide in him just as he did, instead of pushing down and drowning his own feelings.  
And no matter what, he had _never_ given up on him. Not even once. 

“Mafuyu, I’ll always be by your side. Even if one day you’ll get tired of me, or you’ll find someone else, I’ll always be everything you want me to be.” 

And this time it was Mafuyu that cupped his face with his hands, his big eyes were confused, as if he didn’t have the slightest idea of what Yuki was talking about. 

“What are you even saying? How could I ever even look at anyone else, when you’re right here next to me?” 

Yuki’s eyes wavered for a second, as if he wanted to believe him but at the same time, deep inside of him, he was afraid to. He leaned forward and sweetly kissed him on his lips, then pulled back slowly looking at him. 

“Now take a bath, I’ll bring you a change of clothes and make some chamomile.” 

Mafuyu nodded, and Yuki softly pressed his lips on his forehead before leaving the bathroom. 

\-------

Freshly showered and finally feeling a bit warmer, Mafuyu wore Yuki’s t-shirt and sweatpants and made his way downstairs to the living room. He was wary of the darkness around him while going down the stairs, in that house that was like a second one to him.  
He found it weird that the lights in the living room were off, or better, there was a warm light he didn’t recognize. He stopped abruptly, eyes widening, as he took in the sight of a completely different scenery in front of him: the couch and the two sofas had been turned the other way, and a broom was helping keep up what seemed a fort made with duvet covers, sheets and Christmas lights. Yuki emerged from the kitchen with a jar of his favorite strawberry, chocolate and vanilla ice cream and a dazzling smile gracing his face. He had changed in comfortable clothes too. 

“What… When did you do all of that?” Mafuyu asked, his jaw dropped in surprise.

“Well, you took your time bathing and I wanted to surprise you. We did this all the time when we were children.” He explained, hugging his boyfriend from behind and briefly resting his chin on his shoulder before trailing his mouth along it and dropping soft kisses. Mafuyu shivered under the touch of the warm lips; he was speechless and he felt so loved that he wanted to cry.

Yuki shifted and took his hand, leading him towards what was supposed to be the entrance of the fort. On his hands and knees, Mafuyu peeked inside in amazement: two futons were on the floor, and almost every cushion and pillow of the house was there. The gold Christmas lights were a beautiful contrast to the white bedlinen, and another large duvet was laying still folded on the futons. The tv was part of the fort, already on and with the screen paused on the first frame of “The Lion King”, and in front of it there was a tray with cups and a teapot, teaspoons, drinks, and various snacks. Yuki nudged him on his back to make him go inside and followed him, closing the entrance right behind him. 

Mafuyu was sitting cross legged and looking around, still shocked that Yuki had actually done something like that in such a short time. 

“I thought we both needed something like this now, you know? The two of us, snacks and our favorite movie.” He explained while pouring some hot chamomile in a cup, totally unaware of the way the other was looking at him. And Mafuyu loved him _so_ much he could feel his heart bursting in his chest. 

Because that was Yuki’s way to tell him that he was safe now and that there was nothing to fear anymore, inside the silky walls of their fortress. 

Yuki leaned with his back on the pillows behind him - tv controller already in his hand and his legs parted - inviting Mafuyu to settle between them once he was done with his drink. The other boy grabbed the teaspoons and the ice cream and settled where his boyfriend wanted him, covering them with the duvet and relishing in the way Yuki’s strong arms closed around him after he leaned against his chest. 

“Yuki…” Mafuyu murmured, taking the first spoon of strawberry ice cream as _The circle of life_ started playing in the background. 

“Mmh?”

“I love you.” He said, tilting his head to search for Yuki’s mouth and moaning softly when the other met him halfways to press a soft kiss on his lips. 

“I love you too… So much.” 

The feeling of being curled up in Yuki’s arms and the soft feel of his breath on his neck couldn’t be put into words. They fell asleep before the movie ended - exhausted both mentally and physically - fingers intertwined on Mafuyu’s chest and legs tangled up. And Mafuyu knew that it was definitely where he belonged and that there was no safer place than that. 

It felt right. It felt like home. 

\------

They were awoken in the morning by someone clearing their throat, and the sleepiness made them snuggle even closer to each other. As Mafuyu opened his eyes, he saw their mothers looking at them with eyes widened. 

Mafuyu gasped loudly and almost jumped in shock, waking Yuki up in turn. The other was disoriented and for a moment he thought something bad had happened. 

“Yuki…” The other whispered. 

“Hey, are you okay? Does your head hurt?” He asked, full of concern and fingertips caressing his hair. Knowing that they had a public, a flush crept up Mafuyu’s face and when Yuki finally focused his eyes, he saw the two women looking at them in amusement, and taken by surprise, he couldn’t help but blush a bit in turn. 

“Get up and come to the kitchen, boys. We made breakfast.” Yuki’s mom announced before disappearing towards the kitchen and leaving the two boys baffled in their nest. 

The two of them shared a horrified look and got up with their hearts up in their throats, but they stepped in the kitchen holding hands nonetheless. The damage was done anyway, and they had no intention to lie to their moms.  
As they stepped inside the room, the two women had their sight fixed on the linked hands. For a whole minute, the silence had been deafening. 

“You owe me 4.000 yen, Mashiro-chan.” Saeko said, breaking the silence and leaving the two teenagers dumbfounded.

“Aaah, you boys! I was sure you were going to get together once in high school!” Mashiro scowled. “I was sure you were late bloomers!” 

Yuki and Mafuyu looked at each other and blinked, not sure if they were in an alternate reality or not. 

“Who confessed first? Let me win at least this one!” 

“What- You bet on our relationship??” Mafuyu asked in shock. 

“Of course we did. We have been knowing about this since forever, even before the both of you realized that. Yuki has always looked at you as if you put the stars in the sky, Mafuyu-chan.” Saeko chuckled at the sight of both of them turning red once again.

“Mafuyu looked at him the same way though.” Mashiro added. 

“And you are not… Disgusted or angry?” Mafuyu asked. 

Their expressions hardened at that. 

“Has someone said something like that to the two of you?” 

There was a moment of silence in which Mafuyu recalled his father’s expression and words from the previous evening. Yuki held his hand tighter, knowing what the other was thinking. 

“No.. It’s- it’s nothing.” He smiled sadly. 

“Why would we be angry or disgusted about two boys being so in love with each other?” Mashiro said while approaching them with a sweet smile on her face. 

“I’m so sorry for what you went through yesterday.” She sniffled as she hugged them tightly. “And I couldn’t be more grateful and happier to know that the two of you are together.” 

Yuki’s mom looked at them from behind the table and smiled fondly at the scene. They then made their way to the table and sat down to have breakfast. 

“I still can’t believe the two of you placed bets on us.” Yuki scoffed as he grabbed his chopsticks. 

“We couldn’t help it. The two of you are just so cute.” Saeko chuckled.

They ate in comfortable silence after that, but somehow the air seemed to become heavier by the minute. 

“I made a decision and I already told Saeko-chan about it.” Mashiro started, gaining both of the boys’ attention. “Once you graduate from junior high, we are going to move far from here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
This chapter was longer than usual, uh? 
> 
> While reading Given, I think one of the unanswered questions is “Why did Mafuyu move and went to a different high school from Yuki, Hiiragi and Shizu?”. The one in this chapter was one of the possible scenarios that came to my mind.  
Aaah, the angst! But I hope you enjoyed the chapter nonetheless! 
> 
> If you are curious, the fort Yuki built for Mafuyu looks like [this!](https://pin.it/FYC3w3Z)
> 
> I’m curious to know what you think about the chapter and the story in general, so comments are highly appreciated. 
> 
> Thank you in advance for reading!
> 
> * Saeko = Yuki’s mom  
* Mashiro = Mafuyu’s mom
> 
> In this house we stan supportive moms!


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